For as long as I can remember I have struggled with my weight. From being the cute chubby girl in elementary school who preferred playing piano to running and playing outside, to the still chubby girl in middle school who realized that she didn't "fit in" because of her weight, to the high schooler who was smart and talented but did not feel beautiful, to the woman that I am today - married to a wonderful man who finds me beautiful beyond words - with wonderful friends and a good job - who steps on the scale and feels utterly defeated.
And I am tired of this. Tired of feeling like a failure. Tired of subconsciously feeling inferior to others in the room because of my size. Tired of allowing food to have the power. Tired of finding my value based on a number on the scale.
I desperately want to change. And I have tried different things in the past... but nothing has lasted.
So I have decided to start blogging. Blogging about my journey with Christ. Finding my identity there. Blogging about my journey with food - prayerfully to a place where I can enjoy food but not give it power. Blogging about my journey to health - through healthier eating and exercise and better sleeping habits.
I'm note sure if others will read this blog or not. That is not the point. The point is to write. To write about the journey.